Building a Bond: The Importance of Parent-Infant Attachment
Some parents might think bonding with your baby is about doing everything perfectly. No, it isn’t. It’s about being present, consistent, and emotionally connected to your baby. As a pediatrician, I talk to many parents who feel pressure to get it all right—from feeding to sleep to stimulation. But the most powerful thing you can give your baby is your attention and love.
That connection—what we call parent-infant bonding—is the foundation of your child’s emotional and social development, do not take it lightly. Not surprisingly, it has been shown to affect how children trust, how they learn, and how they relate to others as they grow.
I know firsthand how hard it can be. When I had my children, I was also balancing the intense demands of pediatric training. My schedule was tight. My sleep was limited. But I made it a point to bond with my babies in small, meaningful ways—because I knew how much those early interactions matter.
Why Attachment Matters
Attachment is what some people call an “emotional tie” that develops between you and your baby. Good bonding helps your baby feel safe, calm, and understood. It teaches them that they can rely on you—and by extension, the world around them.
Studies have shown that babies who experience secure attachment are more likely to develop confidence, manage stress better, and build healthy relationships later in life. It’s not about being available at home every moment. It’s about showing up with consistency and care, especially during moments of their need.
Ways to Build a Strong Bond with Your Baby
There’s no single “right” way to bond—but here are a few simple, effective ways that can make a real difference.
Respond to Cries. When your baby cries, this shows that you’re teaching them that their feelings matter. Some parents may think you are spoiling them but you’re helping their brain build trust and emotional regulation.
Use Eye Contact and Your Voice. Talk to them in a soft, loving tone. Narrate what you’re doing. Your face and voice are your baby’s favorite things and that is why babies like to look at their parents' faces.
Hold Your Baby Skin-to-Skin. Skin-to-skin contact helps regulate their body temperature and heart rate and strengthens your emotional bond.
Make It a Habit to Hold, Rock, and Cuddle Often with your baby.
Establish Routines. Some simple, predictable routines like bedtime, bath time, or a morning snuggle can help babies feel safe. It makes them learn to expect and trust the flow of their day with you.
🔬 Myth vs. Medicine Spotlight: What Research Says
🧠 Myth: “Bonding must happen immediately after birth or the opportunity is lost.”
Medicine: While early bonding is beneficial, attachment is not confined to the first moments of life. Attachment is a dynamic process that grows through consistent, loving care over time—not in a single critical period. Parents who are unable to bond immediately, due to medical or personal reasons, can still develop a strong, secure attachment through everyday caregiving and emotional responsiveness (Şahin & Yıldız, 2019).
This is especially encouraging for parents of NICU babies or those recovering from birth trauma. You haven’t missed your chance—you’re building the bond every day.
📚 Key Study #1
A 2009 review published by Diane Benoit in Paediatrics & Child Health outlines the foundation of infant-parent attachment theory—a crucial factor in emotional and social development. The article distinguishes attachment from other parenting tasks and emphasizes that its core function is to promote a child's sense of safety, security, and protection. It categorizes four types of attachment: secure, insecure-avoidant, insecure-resistant, and disorganized, with disorganized attachment being linked to poor emotional and behavioral outcomes, especially in high-risk populations. The paper also highlights the Strange Situation Procedure as a gold standard for assessing attachment in infants.
Balancing Bonding with a Busy Life
Being a working parent doesn’t mean you miss out on bonding. As you would expect, I didn’t have hours of free time, but I made the most of the time I had when I had my babies.
In the mornings, even if rushed, I’d hold my baby for a few extra minutes before getting dressed and in the evenings, I made time for bath, story, lullaby, and snuggle. It wasn’t perfect and was not every night. But it was real and I was comforted.
The key isn’t quantity but quality and consistency.
You’re Doing More Than You Think
Bonding doesn’t have to be complicated. If you’re feeding, holding, talking to, and soothing your baby, you’re already building attachment. Even on days when you're tired or overwhelmed, your presence matters to your baby more than you know.
If you ever feel unsure or need help connecting with your baby, we’re here. Sometimes, a little reassurance or support is all it takes to feel more confident.
📚 References
Şahin, D. S., & Yıldız, M. (2019). The importance of attachment in infant and influencing factors. International Journal of Nursing Studies. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6666355/
Benoit D. Infant-parent attachment: Definition, types, antecedents, measurement and outcome. Paediatr Child Health. 2009 Oct;14(10):705–709. doi:10.1093/pch/14.10.705. PMID: 19680481
